How to feel

I learned recently that a client has decided not to have a doula (ie me) for their birth after all. I absolutely respect their decision and why they made it, but can't help feeling a bit disappointed on a personal level. As doulas we're allowed to have a personal level right? Because of course, professionally, it's all about balanced education, and informed choice, and non-judgmental support... and I kind of feel like I shouldn't be disappointed. The insecure piece of me though, says they don't want me because I failed to be all that I should have been. Which I know is a misguided and selfish pov... I know their decision wasn't about me. It was about what was best for them. And that's the way it should be. So a piece of me is also glad for them - that they are learning and growing and making the choices that are right for them as they journey through this pregnancy.

There is still plenty of time for another client to fill in that space, or for me to have a space in which to enjoy the rest of life. Okay. It's all good.