Slight change of plans

So, instead of meeting the mom-to-be, "V", today, I am going to meet her tomorrow. Then I'll go with V to her dr appt right after that, if she still thinks we'll be a good fit after we meet IRL.

If I can work it out, I'll try and meet with "L" (young woman who lived with my parents once upon a time) while I'm in the area too. She can be hard to get a hold of though so I'll have to wait and see.

Other possibilities

A friend of mine asked me the other day, if I had ever considered selling Norwex products. Never having even heard of Norwex, I had to say that "No I hadn't". She's told me more about it, and I've looked around online.... it looks like it could be good actually. It sounds very low risk, low cost, and do-able for me. I'm thinking about it.

In birth-related news, a woman on a discussion board I visit, recently posted a plea for doula help. The doula Mom hired has had to back out, the Mom's partner is overseas, and her EDD is only a couple weeks away (ie any day now!). I posted my info for her, and she called me this evening. We are meeting on Monday. It isn't confirmed yet, but she sounds pretty interested, and I think we had a good rapport on the phone. I also told her that if labour started before we've met on Monday, to call me and I would still try to come as quick as I could. I guess that means I better go get my stuff ready!

Which Friend Are You?

Which Friends Character Are You?
	You are Phoebe. You're the weird kid with odd habits. Most people don't know it, but you're kinky in bed. Your childhood memories aren't your best, but why do you care? There's plenty of time to make up for your lost childhood now that you're an adult.
Find Your Character @ BrainFall.com

Okay, I'm not so sure about the "kinky in bed" part....!

Late night

I went to see Harry Potter last night, and I had a Coke at the theatre - which explains why I was still awake at 1am! The little spider was SO tiny, it couldn't have been any bigger than .5 cm total (3/16 inch), just swinging back and forth, up and down, in front of the monitor. It seemed poetic somehow.

Harry Potter: Order of the Phoenix was dark and delicious (kinda like chocolate) - I loved it! The new director did a good job of capturing the dream-like internal battles between Harry & Voldemort.

CBC is talking about sandwiches right now - making me hungry. Maybe I'll walk downtown for a sandwich.

Little visitor

It is almost 1am. I am awake. (obviously) A very small spider has dropped onto the computer screen, and is slowly crawling around.... keeping me company I guess.

A better start

Monday. Start of a new week. It was pretty good. My brother stopped by the office with Grace Emily for a visit. Life doesn't get much better than a happy 1yo who turns up the radio dial herself so she can dance to the music and clap while standing on your lap. One of my co-workers brought me back a cup of coffee when they had to run an errand downtown. Had a great conversation with a local pastor who is new to the area, and is really excited about participating in my research, and partnering with the non-profit I work for. Sent an e-mail about vaccinations and malaria meds etc to one of the couples who will be coming with us to Ghana in February (only 6 MONTHS until I get to spend the better part of two weeks working in the clinic with the midwives!!)

A friend gave me eggs, and zuchinni, and beans, and carrots today, so I made a frittata for supper, which turned out pretty well considering I've never made one before and didn't have a recipe. Good thing eggs are forgiving!

Not much else of note....

ETA: There is more to note! According to the government website, my income tax refund has FINALLY been assessed (and so should be arriving in the mail any day!!). And I forgot a bar of Ghanaian dark chocolate in the car today so it got soft and melty, just like it is when you buy it out of a headpan from a street vendor in Ghana. mmm. And my room-mate is about to make a big batch of popcorn. And there is kahlua in the cupboard, which I can add to a cold glass of milk.

Just bragging

Grace Emily is about a year old in this pic. She hardly seems big enough to manage it, but she is eating a popsicle. She loves popsicles. She loves ice cream. She has a sweet tooth. She is sweet. I love my niece.

A Wise Birth

Ooh - a new birth book is out. Although this excerpt is a little long, it is worth the read. I'll be adding this one to my wish list.

A funny.

"Due to a power outage, only one paramedic was able to respond to the 9-1-1 call. The house was dark when he arrived, so the paramedic asked 3 year old Kathleen to hold a flashlight high over her mommy so he could see to help deliver the baby. Very diligently, Kathleen did as she was asked.

Mom pushed, and after a little while, a baby boy was born. The paramedic wanted to make sure he was breathing well, so he picked him up carefully and spanked his bottom. The baby began to cry. The paramedic then thanked Kathleen for her help, and asked the wide-eyed 3 year old what she thought. Kathleen quickly responded: "He shouldn't have crawled in their in the first place. Spank him again!"


Hee Hee. My mom passed this one on to me. :)

They said no.

This afternoon as I was working on things in my office, I really got the sense that I would NOT be offered the position at the pregnancy centre.

And I just got a call saying exactly that. They said they were very impressed with me and they really wanted to hire me and the caller was personally disappointed that this didn't work out because I was their first choice. BUT they (ahem - apparently "head office") wanted me to leave my current position and work only for them, which they already knew I was unwilling to do, therefore it was a no. I have to say I'm disappointed. I had amazing plans forming....

A friend of mine told me early on in this process to just ride the train and see where it took me. The train has arrived at destination No-ville.

A butterfly on the hospital room door.

A doula I know just phoned. She needed to de-brief. Yesterday she held on to a couple as they faced the stillbirth of their first child.

She lovingly supported Mom and Dad as they birthed their little one, knowing full-well that she had already slipped back into heaven, before ever landing on earth.

She encouraged Mom that she was going to get through this awful day, and tried to shelter her from the insensitive comments and actions coming from some of the caregivers who should have known better.

She worked alongside the nurse to create a memory box for the parents - even though they aren't ready to take the box home yet. She helped dress the baby, take a lock of hair, and make hand and footprints.

She gently warned the parents that although they have asked for an autopsy, most of the time there is no answer to the question "Why did my baby die?"

She is trying to figure out what happens now.....

So true.

Breastfeeding Booklet

I just found out about this breastfeeding booklet which is published by the NHS in Britain. It is great! I'll be putting a link to it on my sidebar shortly.

Adrenaline/Oxytocin

From Midwifery Today...

Our understanding of birth physiology is based on the simple fact that adrenaline (the emergency hormone mammals release when they are scared, when they are cold or when they feel observed) and oxytocin are antagonistic. In other words, when human beings release adrenaline, they cannot release oxytocin.

This indicates the main role of the midwife: to protect the laboring woman against any situation associated with a rising level of adrenaline. This is an art because it involves the personality, the way of being, the background, the experience and the intuition of the birth attendant. Since adrenaline release is highly contagious, one of the main preoccupations of the birth attendant is maintaining her own level of adrenaline as low as possible. Midwives often use tricks to keep their stress levels low. One of these is to engage in a repetitive task, such as knitting.

Avoiding useless stimulation of the maternal neocortex, which is the source of powerful inhibitions, is a real art. Remaining silent when verbal language is not absolutely necessary is an art. Escaping notice while, at the same time, being able to detect whether something is wrong is an art. Adapting to every particular case and to every particular situation is also an art.

— Michel Odent, excerpted from "Can the Art of Midwifery Survive Protocols?" Midwifery Today Issue 73

~*~*~*~*~*~
Although this article is written regarding midwives, as a doula working with doctors and nurses in a hospital setting, I'd have to say that it really resonates with me. I don't knit though. :)

The interview

I was "can't eat think I might throw up have a headache and want to cry" anxious going to the interview. I'd had a phone conversation with someone on Friday which made me cranky and uptight. Overall though, the interview went well and I think they will probably offer me the position.

If they offer me the position according to the proposal I and my current employer submitted, then I'll be all for it. And if they make a counter proposal of some sort I'll have to consider it carefully. I will continue to pray about it and wait for their call.

Next up after the interview was the baby shower. I am KICKING MYSELF for not remembering my camera. Mom-to-be is beautiful. She is doing well. There were some heartbreaking moments and some heartmending ones too.

When I finally got home at the end of the day, my room-mate poured me a drink ('adult juice' as some of our mother-friends like to call it!) and I cried. It has been a topsy-turvy, stressful week and I am exhausted.

Promises of a doula

I found an interesting post while checking in on some blogs this morning. It talks about doula's in Ireland, and the promises of a doula. I think my version would look something like this:

My promises as a Doula, to a Mom in labour.....

1. I will do everything in my power to bring you comfort and help you have a positive birth experience.
2. I will help you feel safe.
3. I will be truthful with you.
4. I won't take the things you may say or do, personally.
5. I cannot speak for you but I will do everything in my power to ensure your own voice is heard.

I'm going to ponder this a bit more, and I may add it to my webpage.

Blogger is being strange and won't allow titles. But if I could, I would label this "Oh right. My facebook updates aren't my blog." Because sometimes I change my facebook status but forget to put the same info. here. So..... in regard to recent things I have blogged about:

Birthday supper with friends on Sunday evening was yummy - barbecued steak, portobella mushrooms sauteed in garlic and butter, mashed potatoes, steamed broccoli, ice cream pie for dessert - and Pim's lemonade. (With lots of cut up lime and lemon and orange, and thin slices of cucumber soaking in the bottom to eat at the end.... good stuff)

As for the pregnancy care centre - I submitted my resume and cover letter, along with a cover letter from my current boss outlining how he thought this might work out best for both agencies. I was scheduled to for an interview with the Board at 11:45am on Saturday morning. At 11:25 am they called to say there wasn't going to be enough time and so could they re-book for next Saturday? So I have to wait a week for my interview. But on the plus side, it gives the Board at my organization time to weigh in on it, and it gives the Board at the pregnancy centre time to consider the proposal. So hopefully this extra week will work out better for everyone.

I'll be going straight from the interview to a baby shower in the city for the young woman who used to live with my parents. I'm looking forward to seeing her, and hope she is doing as well as she sounded on the phone. She isn't due for a few months yet so I've got time to connect with her.

Even though I am anxiously/excitedly waiting for the interview, I should be sufficiently distracted in the meantime, as I am helping run a camping trip for some of the youth who are connected to our org. I really should be doing more to get ready for that actually - packing, preparing the food, preparing the sessions I am leading. But I just can't get into the headspace for it. Even though it starts tomorrow.

In other news, my car had another breakdown. Not major, but still an inconvenience. A belt which controls the water pump and other things broke while I was on the 401 today. I was able to make it off the highway and called CAA to tow me into town. My mechanic friend (YEAH for having a mechanic friend!!) had the part installed for me by the end of the day, and is letting me pay him whenever my income tax refund finally arrives. I can't wait for that piece of mail to get here.

Okay, that's everything I can think of for now. I'll be back from camping on Thursday.

...but at least you have a healthy baby

This quote, found on another blog, got me thinking. I hate hearing someone say to a new mom "but at least you have a healthy baby - that's what counts." But I've not been able to pinpoint why it bugs me. I think this quote explains it.

"...Then I began to realize how evil it is to tell a woman who’s experienced a physically or emotionally traumatic birth that she should be grateful because when you say that, she hears that she isn’t grateful enough for the precious baby she’s been given. And that cuts to the quick. She may already be wondering what was wrong with her that she couldn’t have a normal birth and now you’ve told her that she doesn’t love her child enough. It is evil to say, “All that matters is a healthy baby,” because you are saying that her pain, her damage, doesn’t matter."

Food for thought.

"You are the average of the five people you spend the most time with." Jim Rohn


...what do you think?

Oh right - my birthday.

So what did I actually do on my birthday? I stayed up late the night before. I slept in late the morning of. I made french toast for breakfast (my favorite). I had hoped to spend the day outside but it was grey and raining so I had a quiet day at home reading, on the computer, watching tv, etc. My Mom brought me flowers in the afternoon - gerbera daisies and lilies and sunflowers. I had supper with my parents at their house. One of my Mom's friends is a cookbook author and works in the Canadian Living test kitchen - this friend sent home three different kinds of curry for my birthday supper. I like curry. Birthday cake was a chocolate layer cake with marhmallow cream in the middle and a dusting of icing sugar on top, generously garnished with whipped cream and chocolate dipped melon, pineapple, and raspberries. Mmm.

I received gift certificates for a local coffee shop, aromatherapy shop, and massage therapy.

All in all it was a good day. On Sunday, with some friends, I'll be cracking open a bottle of Pim's that I brought home from England last year. Pim's lemonade is yummy.

A change?

This has all happened rather quickly, but there appears to be a change in the wind for me. And when I say 'quickly', I mean that on the weekend I was saying "God, something needs to change here", and on Tuesday I found out about this opportunity, and things are now - Thursday - in motion.

The part-time position of co-ordinator at our local pregnancy care centre has opened up. I've been asked by both the current co-ordinator and a board member if I would consider applying. After consulting with my boss, I got the go-ahead to pursue this. I sent my resume in today. I'm meeting with the board of directors on Saturday. The board of directors at my organization meets on Monday. The position could be available as soon as July 28. If things go as I hope, not only will I have WAY more contact with young pregnant women, but I will have some steady income, insurance benefits, and some tax benefits too. I'll still be able to continue what I currently do with my existing job AND I'll get to be involved with pregnant women and birth issues EVERY DAY!

I am very very excited and hopeful.... but at the same time trying not to get my hopes up too high, in case it doesn't work out.

If you are the praying sort - please bang furiously on God's door and ask for this to work out for me. :)

Random Questions

Fun questions from a fellow blogger. There's no tagging, but if you choose to answer them just drop me a line in the comments section so I can come read your answers too. :)


#1. If you tore off a piece of foil for a dish then decided to use saran wrap instead, would you throw away the foil or keep it to use later?

Fold it up and put it in the drawer to use next time. Then feel mildly guilty that I was using disposable products at all when I could be using a re-usable container instead.

#2. If you could be a super hero, what would your name be and what kind of powers would you have?

Birth Avenger - I'd make all the people who cause women harm in birth pay for what they'd done. And I'd make the conditions be right for women to have births which are empowering and healing for them

#3. Do you believe in the 5 second rule?

I believe CBC recently talked about a study which gave me at least a minute....

#4. Do you brush your teeth in the morning and at night? Do you floss?

Morning, night, and sometimes after lunch too. I floss every couple days, but not as often as my dental hygenist says I should.


#5. If money were no object, where would you live?

I like where I am, because my family and friends are nearby. But I might buy a cute little house instead of renting. And I might have to travel to Ghana West Africa more often.


#6. If you could go back in time for 5 minutes where would you go? Who would you visit?

That I don't know.

#7. Do you believe in heaven? How do you picture heaven?

Absolutely. I picture it as being warm, full of light and love, and just a breath away from our everyday reality. It's so close that some moments you can almost taste it (like "the flash" in Emily of New Moon).


#8. Do you believe in hell? How do you picture hell?

I do. I've even blogged about it. I picture it as being the total absence of God (and therefore of all that is GOOD). Beyond that, the details are not something I ponder a lot.

#9. If you found a hair in your food, and you knew it was yours, would you keep eating?

I'd probably keep eating even if it wasn't my hair. Travelling in Africa changes your standards about what is acceptable to eat.


#10. You're walking down the aisle in the supermarket and just as you pass a hot guy/chick you let out the worlds largest fart, what do you do?

Fortunately my gas tends to be quiet... but if I did fart really loud I would probably pretend it never happened (see #18).

#11. Have you ever had sex on a plane?

No.


#12. Do you mix the food on your plate or do you segregate?

Segregate when possible. I don't like it when hot and cold foods touch. If no one is home sometimes I'll put it all in separate bowls. But if I'm out somewhere and it touches then I'll still eat it. I don't like when sauces mix either.

#13. If you could go back and date someone again for a week, (before things got bad, ended, too complicated, what ever) who would you date again?

No thanks. They all ended for a reason.

#14. You're on an airplane and all of a sudden there's a thunder down under and you have to go, NOW, but you can see that there is at least a 3 person wait for a bathroom. What do you do?

I'd have taken my apple cider vinegar tablets before the meal to reduce the likelihood of 'thunder from below'. I'd look to see if another bathroom was free, with a shorter line. I'd carefully get into the shortest line possible, and do acupressure and/or EFT to help the gurgling thunder hold off till it was my turn.

#15. You and your signifigant other are moving in together. While putting some of their stuff away some naked pictures of their ex fall out. Do you confront them with the pictures? Do you take them and throw them away? What would you do?

Toss them and never say a word about it. OR tuck them in the bottom of the box and let 'fate' take over... Does he find them? do they get tossed into recycle? who knows!


#16. You win the lottery, millions, how do you spend the first 10k?

First $10K would go to the charity I work for, so that my colleagues in ministry could get paid that month, and maybe catch up on some of their missed paycheques too. Some of it would go to my colleagues who work in Ghana. But a lot more than 10K would get spread around. At least 10% would go to various churches, charities, and good causes.


#17. If you had a choice between being beautiful or being successful, which would you be?

Huh. Beautiful people are more likely to be successful. Successful people can buy personal trainers, gym memberships, spa days, and therapy. I think I choose success.

#18. Can you lie with a straight face?

You bet.


#19. What's the last prank you pulled on someone?

Does goosing my friend at a conference count?

#20. You see a man and a little girl walking down the street. She's pulling away and yelling for him to "leave her alone." What do you do?

Watch carefully to see what happens next. Pay attention to my 'gut' and decide from there.

Tomorrow

Tomorrow is my birthday. I'm trying to decide what to do. The default answer of course is to go to work. But there won't be anyone else in the office so no one is depending on me for anything. I'd like to do something fun. But I am flat broke so it has to be cheap fun. I'm thinking I might go to a nearby Provincial Park for the day and read by the water. Just soak up the summertime air.... we'll see.

it's almost over but:

Happy Canada Day!

Sad and happy all in one

From the time I was in grade 10, until just a couple years ago, my parents owned and operated a parent-model group home for kids.

I found out today that one of the girls who lived with us for about 4 years is pregnant. We all knew it really was just a matter of time.... She's due in October. She says she's stopped with the drugs and smoking since getting pregnant. She says she has a good supportive boyfriend. (edit - I talked to him on the phone just now and he seems like a decent guy)

And I think it's pretty cool that even after living in the city for almost 3 years, she phoned my parents to tell them the news, invite them (us) to her babyshower, and to say that after all the grief she gave them, she's now realizing that she didn't have it that bad living with them. She was also excited to find out that I'm a doula. I spoke to her on the phone just now, and offered to be her doula if that would be helpful to her. We haven't made it official, (ie signed paper) but she said she does want me to come in for her.

There is even a chance I'll be paid through one of the support programs she's part of. Of course - I'd still move heaven and earth to support her, even without being paid for it!