The update

Class on Thursday night was good - glad to be done it though. Next one isn't until November.

Haven't been able to contact my client at either phone number she gave me, so I don't have an update on that end of things.

Nadia's audition at UWO was fun - I was glad to be able to take her.

Music ministry services on Sunday had definite high points and low points but overall went well.

This week has been all about prep for.....

Leaving for New York City today. Yep. I'm chaperoning a school trip with one of my co-workers. I am SOO excited.

And on that note, I am OUT OF TIME! Ack! Gotta GO!

What?

I am both relieved and furious. I just went to visit my client, and it turns out that she really did want me there (hence the relief) .

BUT, the phone in her room was disconnected so she couldn't call me herself, and when she asked her nurse to call me, says she was told "There isn't anything a doula can do that I can't. You don't need to bother her to come. You don't need a doula." So she laboured and birthed without me, even though she wanted me there (hence the furious).

Thankfully she did have a friend with her so she was not alone. However some of the first words out of her mouth today were about how scared she was, and didn't know what was going on, etc. And how she knew it would have been different if I had been there. Even the induction itself - the doctor did not tell her he was about to break her water... just reached on in and started poking.

Is there any justice for a woman in labour? Who will protect the sanctity of birth? I don't even know what else to say......

Disappointed

Well that sucks. I hadn't heard from my client so I called her house this morning and was told by the adult there that she was 3cm @ midnight so they were keeping her overnight, but they hadn't heard anything since. (Eek! why didn't she call me?) So I called the hospital and the nurse said "No, I can't transfer you to her room, she's having a baby right now. I guess she didn't need your help." Ouch - she didn't need me.

Knowing this particular woman, there is a good chance she forgot to bring my phone number with her to the hospital - does that mean I should have called before going to bed last night? That was an hour before they even checked her so I wouldn't have known anything then - but I could have left my number with the nurse. When I talked to her on the phone I said - "Give me a call when you get there and let me know what's up. I'll meet you whenever you need me." I have spent many hours in hospital with false alarms these past few months, and didn't have the energy to be up all night with another false alarm. I thought saying "call me" would cover it. But she is a grown woman Sarah. This was her choice. It's not about you. Sure, you feel a bit rejected..... You put in a lot of prep. hours with her. This could have been your last birth toward certification.

Friday I go on call for my other client, and now I'm really nervous about going to UWO on Saturday, even with back-up. But I can't very well cancel taking Nadia to UWO, because her family has already made other plans for that day based on me taking her. Damn. I have to figure all this out, and still try to get an essay written today. I am feeling a tad stressed at the moment.....

Monkey wrench

One of my clients (who isn't due for a few weeks yet) just called to tell me she was heading into the hospital because of some concerns. Argh! I'm not ready for that - I'm not on-call! I still have an essay to write and exam to prepare for on thursday night. I'm supposed to be going to London on Friday & Saturday so Nadia can do her audition atUWO.

Her file is still at my office so if I do need to meet her at the hospital tonight I'll need to go to work first. I've made sure I have everything I need in my bags. I think I'm set. A potential monkey wrench, but that's the nature of birth I guess. :)

Something viral maybe?

The good news is, I don't have pneumonia. Yeah! My doctor's best guess is that something viral went straight to my lungs. If however I am still coughing when this round of Symbicort is done, or if the cough goes away then comes back when I go off the Symbicort, I'll get sent for Pulmonary function tests. She also gave me a fast-acting inhaler, (the blue one) which I greatly appreciate. It is not a good feeling to not be able to take a good breath. Well, I have to get ready to drive to school now.

Ugh

I've been coughing for 6 weeks - yuck. I was pretty sure it was allergy related asthma and nothing infectious so I haven't been too worried about it. I was supposed to go see my doctor on Tuesday, but my grandfather died on Saturday and the funeral is on Tuesday. So I went to the walk-in clinic on Saturday morning (before heading off to a wedding) and the doctor said "yep - allergen-induced asthma" and gave me a prescription for Symbicort. Also gave orders for a chest x-ray though to rule out walking pneumonia (eek!) . Wedding was fun on Saturday, but it did me in. I spent Saturday night and all day Sunday in bed afraid to move because every shift would send me into coughing spasms. I'm feeling better today - up, dressed, walking etc - but I am definately not 100%. Even though I have a fever today, I feel better than I did yesterday when I didn't have a fever. Stranger. It's a good thing I'm not on-call right now because I am in no shape to attend births. I'm just home long enough to pack a bag, then am heading out with my family for the funeral tomorrow. When I get back, I have 200 pages of reading to do for school thursday night, plus a five page assignment. Friday morning I am supposed to be getting all my vaccinations for Africa this summer. Saturday is an Africa training day. Sunday morning is a mission 'promo' service at a Mississauga church of one our team members. Ugh. Just one thing at a time.....

My room-mate was right.

She suggested that maybe the 'anonymous' comments had been made on an old post and so they were 'showing up', just not on the current page. I'd taken a look through the last couple months and didn't find anything. Today I went further back (to November) and found the comments posted there. I don't really get why somebody would go to all the hassle of reading through an archived blog post, but not read enough to get the full context. Oh well. The mystery is solved anyway!

This weekend was very full. Friday night my room-mate made homemade pizza (even the dough was made from scratch) and we watched Pride & Prejudice. It was wonderful. I need to read the book again now. In all my spare time. :) It was a fun evening.

Saturday was spent at Yorkdale Mall with family, as my 'baby' brother is heading off to Alberta today. He is hoping to attend Mount Royal College/University to become an RN. Who'd have ever guessed he'd end up wanting to be a nurse?!

On the way home Saturday night we blew a tire on the 401. Completely shredded it. That was an adventure. Mom having a back spasm. Pregnant Sister-in-law throwing up. Vehicles whizzing by at 120+km/hr. BUT it is for moments like those that I pay for CAA. A very nice tow truck driver (with bad 'plumber's butt') changed the tire for us and got us on our way again. We drove Hwy 2 home as the 'donut' tire has a speed rating of only 85 km/hr - it was a long ride.

Sunday afternoon was a surprise birthday party being thrown by a young woman I spend time with, for her mother. It went flawlessly. I think I am still full. I gave up white sugar for Lent this year, but fortunately Sunday's are 'feast days' so I was able to enjoy the delicious chocolate birthday cake. mmm. chocolate.

My Dad is still spending a fair chunk of time with his parents, out in the London area. My Grandfather had a major stroke last weekend and although he is 'semi-conscious', they do not expect him to recover. My dad and his sister have committed to stay by his side till the end. It could be tomorrow. It could be weeks.

Back to work now. This post was mostly to distract me from the fact that I REALLY want a chocolate bar...... NO Sugar!!

Anonymity

For a reason I'm not clear on, my blog doesn't post comments from people who remain "Anonymous". The comment gets sent to my e-mail, but doesn't appear on the blog itself. I've checked the settings and it is indeed set to "Anyone" under the "Who can post" setting. But I don't mind that it works that way actually, because I think it is important for people to own their opinions and beliefs. And if someone wants to comment here but is unwilling to own what they say, then I reserve the right to post or delete their comments at my discretion.

Anyway, it seems that someone anonymous is unhappy. In the interest of fair play I will post their comment for you to read:

"You need to think of the safest measures for the baby, and not the experience for yourself. CHILDREN FIRST!

P.S. I see the upside-down crosses on your blog. Hmmm. That could be why the tendancy to put yourself ahead of the baby you will be delivering.
Posted by Anonymous to Sarahthedoula at 3/02/2006 11:23:14 PM"

I guess all I can really conclude is that this person isn't actually familiar with me, or what I do/don't do as a doula. I provide continuous non-medical support in the form of information, and emotional and physical comfort measures. My role is to 'mother the mother'.

"The safest measures for the baby" are not my domain. That is the realm of the doctors, nurses, midwives etc who provide medical care. Yes, if something appears to be drastically wrong and I am concerned that can be voiced to the medical care providers but it is well outside my scope of practice to try and do something about it myself.

And of course this blog is about the "experience for myself" because I am myself. I am not the baby, or the mother, or the medical care provider so I can't speak from their perspective.

In light of the need to maintain my clients confidentiality, I also choose not to speak in anything except very general terms about the personal reactions of the people I am suppporting.

As for the "upside-down crosses" question - didn't I already address this back in January? And what does a pre-set graphic which could be anything from a boat anchor to the cross of St.Peter have to do with the fact that I choose to blog about my personal responses to my role as a birth doula?

Okay, enough about that.

Hope you have a great day!