Tagged - Weird & Random Things About Me

Well, depending on who you ask, you could get very different answers when it comes to 'weird and random' facts about me. I was tagged by Hannah at Milliner's Dream, and the instructions are as follows:

List 10 weird and random facts about yourself, then select 5 people to do the same of themselves. Here I go....

1) I don't like loud noises. I especially dislike the sound of blenders, coffee grinders and other loud appliances, including most power tools. If I am by myself and have to use one, I have been known to put in a pair of earplugs first.

2) I am a plague to plants. Just about every plant I have ever owned or been responsible for (for more than a month) has died.

3) I still sleep with a teddy bear or two (and a whole pile of pillows).

4) I carry a piece of rose quartz in my pocket. When I am starting to feel frazzled, I put my hand in my pocket and take a moment to settle again.

5) The bones in my lower legs are a bit twisted, so my ankle bones protrude in a slightly different spot than average, and my feet and toes are a little off too.

6) I used to love Fall & Winter and bundling up in cozy sweaters. Since going to Ghana, West Africa in 2000 however I have shifted to loving the heat. At this moment I am chilled from nose to toes and will put on an extra sweater before continuing further.............

7) McDonald's is my favorite fast food - even though I know all the miserable nutrition facts etc.

8) I really like my fingernails.

9) My handwriting shifts to resemble characteristics of the handwriting of people I spend a lot of time with. In high school, my handwriting was so close to my friend Suzanne's that we couldn't tell it apart.

10) I almost always have a secret stash of candy in my bedroom, and at my office.

I tag:
Chronic Hiccup
Doulicia
Finally My Own
Parsley Seasonings
The Intern - Somebody might have to tell Dalton - - I don't know if he visits here......?! Is that against the rules???

If I should die....

Some of you may think this is morbid, but I've put substantially more thought into my funeral than into a wedding. Mostly because a funeral is pretty much guaranteed to happen, while a wedding is not. And with my Grandma being so ill, I've been thinking more about death recently

So when I die:

• please donate all the organs that are useable.
• cremate what's left.
• no ugly urn, sprinkle me somewhere useful like a garden or a field.
  
• sing lots of songs I liked, not just sad songs that will make everybody cry. Sing "And Your Praise Goes On" by Chris Rice.
  
• serve chocolate at my funeral. Not (just) at the visitation/wake/'afterparty', but at the actual funeral. 1 dark chocolate covered orange cream, and one plain dark chocolate in a little box on every chair. Chocolate makes everything better.... :)

I've never been big on pomp and circumstance and ceremony. Chocolate and music seems appropriate to me. Well, I'm going to enjoy a dark chocolate orange cream from Rheo Thomson's and get back to work (since I am still very much alive and have a to-do list to make my way through....) I would suggest you eat some chocolate too. Because unless you are allergic, it will most definately make you feel better.

Birth & Death

I went to with my dad & brother today to visit my grandparents. They have recently moved into a higher level of care (like a nursing home, except it's nice and they both like it) at the complex where they've lived for a number of years now. It was important to go, because my Grandma (who just turned 84) is really sick, and nobody is sure just how much longer she's going to be here. She's been in a lot of pain, and often in a semi-conscious state. But today, I was told she's better than she's been in months.

My brother and I talked with her for close to an hour, while my Dad & Grandpa were trying to sort out pension application stuff. As I smoothed her favorite lotion over her face, and rubbed her feet, and just talked quietly with her, I was reminded again of how transferable doula skills are. Today I wasn't nurturing a woman as she eased a new life into the world. I was nurturing a woman I love as she eases out....

My Grandma pointed to a sign on the door which said "Please leave open. Do not shut door". She then said "I have that sign up because I can't stand to have the door shut. Not since your daddy was born. It was midnight. They took me down to the medicine room in the basement, and made me climb up on two chairs to get up on a table, then they told me I wouldn't be having my baby until tomorrow and they locked the door. I spent all night by myself until they let me out in the morning. I've never been able to be in a room with a closed door since." I'd heard the story before, but never from her. She went quiet for a moment. Her lips quivered and her eyes welled up. Then she moved on. Part of me wanted to say "Tell me more! Tell me about the first moment you held him! Tell me about the births of Fred and Heather and Michael and Janice. Tell me about when you were a little girl and your mother wrote you out a poem called "Ode to a Bedpan". "

But I didn't.

I was afraid of tiring her out.

I was afraid to hold her hand for too long, because I didn't want too much touch to be overstimulating. She just seemed so fragile and small, like a premature baby.

More than 50 years later and she still recalls my father's birth, and is still impacted by that birth. To this day she can't have a door closed, because of the poor treatment she received so long ago. If I do nothing else as a doula, I must do what I can to help women preserve a positive birth memory. I must help them preserve a memory which empowers them and gives them freedom, not which binds them in fear for half a century.

Blessed day off

The prenatal meeting last night was great. The couple apologized to me because their friends were coming and going a fair bit from their apartment - but I loved it and told them as much. I LIKE to meet people in their homes, because it lets me see them on their turf, in the midst of their everyday life. I am the guest in the whole process. I think they are going to make a great birthing team, and I am excited to be part of their journey.

I decided to take today off. Completely off. Because even my week of 'vacation' in October (my first vacation time of the year) included 15 hours of work, and various other 'have to' things which had nothing to do with vacation. So this morning I slept in (really late!). ....watched episodes of ALIAS season 4 on DVD while drinking coffee with real cream and munching Christmas m&m's. I think they taste better than regular m&m's. It has been so nice to not have to get anything done today. I was looking back at my daytimer, and realized that in the last 17 nights, 14 of them I have been out. Not all work-related, but mostly. It just feels so good to be in comfy clothes and know I don't have to go anywhere if I don't want to. My roommate tells me it's a beautiful day outside - I'm still in denial about the snow on the ground and therefore choosing to stay indoors.

Related to the snow.... our town has declared that there is room for 5 cars to park in our driveway, and therefore will not issue any parking passes. Technically, if we parked bumper to bumper and all had small cars, we might be able to make them all fit. (Except there is a minivan and an SUV in the equation). In reality, at BEST, we can fit two cars in the driveway, because the garage is full of stuff so we can't park in it (including the side that we theoretically pay for in our rent but can't get into because of construction materials (aka garbage) from their new kitchen). The landlords have two vehicles, plus their daughter's boyfriends car. Then there is my car, and my room-mates car. They are out the door by 5-6am. We often don't get home until 10pm-12am. I DO NOT want to have to get up to move my car so they can get to work, at FIVE IN THE MORNING!! Nor will they want to get up at midnight to make room for us. "Just have copies of each others car keys" you might suggest. Well to start with, Ford says my key was a specialty item, and I can't get new ones cut anymore. So there are no spares to give. Even if there were spares, why should I have to give my landlord access to my vehicle? That just isn't right. And finally, my landlords are nice enough, but the corner of their brick house is actually missing small pieces because she has backed their van into it so many times. I can't afford the repairs.... The only plus side, is that I managed to get a pass last winter which is good until March 2006 so I at least won't get a $30 ticket for being parked on the street. The downside - I have to park around the corner and haul all my stuff back and forth. I'm praying that somebody over at the Town Maintenance Dept. 'sees the light' and lets us have the passes we need....

off to a prenatal....

Woo-hoo! I'm off to a first prenatal appointment with a couple who are due in January. I have 20 minutes to eat supper, get changed, and then be out the door. No more blogging for me now...

Foiled

I stayed a bit late at the office today. Nothing major happening, I just wanted to finish the project I was working on so I could have a clean slate to start with tomorrow. I was pretty hungry by the time I left at 6:45pm, and had decided on exactly what I wanted for supper: ground turkey stroganoff over quinoa. Just a quick trip to the grocery store and I'd be set. But they were out of ground turkey. And the beef only came in family packs that won't fit in the freezer so I couldn't do that instead. So I decided to pick up PC white mac & cheese. But they only had no name brand orange stuff. So I decided on Hawaian pizza. But THAT WAS ALL GONE TOO! Finally decided I would wander the aisles without a choice in mind, until I saw something that appealed to me... and settled on a jar of alfredo sauce to dump over noodles. Really - how could the grocery store be sold out of all those items??

Practice being un-picky and centred and flexible

• I will not get upset that the student doing volunteer hours was 1.5 hours late this morning, meaning I got up early for nothing.

• I will not be annoyed by the person who made a request, we fulfilled it, and then they got confused because things changed (exactly the way they asked them to).

• I will not get upset that my support letter was photocopied upside down.

• I will not be bothered that the pledge form was done on white instead of colour.

• I will pretend that my throat is not all scratchy from the smell of cigarette smoke, and the various scented products used to try and cover up the cigarette smell.

Okay, who am I kidding?? I am writhing inside because things were not done the way I wanted them to be done. Except my only real option is to re-do the whole thing, which would be a poor use of time and resources, so I just have to suck it up and trust that other people don't care about these sorts of details. Or that if they do care, they won't notice or something....

So I will repeat to myself - "My sense of well-being is not based on the circumstances. My sense of well-being comes from Jesus." Over and over I will repeat this to myself until at some point later in the day I find myself believing it. And hopefully people reading this won't think I'm a hypocrite for being upset over stupid petty stuff, while in the same breath reminding myself that I am rooted in Jesus.....

P.S. Somebody just farted in my office and now it stinks. :(

Phew....

....I'm... finally.... home. I've been away since Thursday, and this is my first moment long enough to blog! I realized that I missed knowing what was going on in my blogging community, because there are a handful of blogs I read everyday, and I haven't checked them since Thursday afternoon. Gasp!

It was a good weekend, but I'm peopled out. Thursday through Saturday I was at Synod for the Toronto Diocese of the Anglican Church of Canada (a big meeting of people from this part of Ontario, meeting to discuss the current business, and future of, the Anglican church in this area). It was my first time ever attending, and it was good. Over 800 people there! I met some people I knew - and there were people who I knew were there, but I never saw. I did however, run into a guy that I went to church with when I was a student at UWO in London. Okay, to be more specific, I ran into a guy who I had a MAD crush on... he's still pretty cute. :) Found out from him that a mutual friend of ours now has 3 kids and is in the midst of a divorce. It's sad. I also met a man from Ghana, whose brother lives the next village over from where we will be living and working. As much as people joke about the Anglican church being old-fashioned, I was impressed with how forward thinking the Anglican church is in this geographic area. You might not see it in the local churches yet, but it's coming. An emphasis on justice, and mercy, and building communities of hope, more than a focus on fancy buildings and maintaining in-house programs. That will be a hard pill for some folk to swallow. A guest speaker from the Lutheran Church said during the closing ceremonies (approximate quote) "If your church is more focused on service to its members, than reaching out to the community around you, you are not being the Church, but a club." Ouch. Truth.

Holy cow! Know what my friend Hope heard on the radio yesterday?? A hospital in Winnipeg circumcised the WRONG baby. My jaw literally dropped open. I can't even imagine how you would explain that to a parent. "We're sorry, but we accidentally mutilated your infant son's penis. Oops." OR "No really, sometimes it just falls off, kinda like their umbilical stump does" OR "He got an infection so we had no choice but to surgically remove the infected tissue. " I mean, it's not like you can sew it back on! Well, I have heard of adult men having reconstructive surgery, but I'm not sure if that is just a cosmetic procedure, or if they can restore sensation etc. too. Now the hospital is having to release their "accident" rates to the public. I'm not sure the public actually wants to know....

Sorry - I know this isn't the most eloquent of posts - incomplete sentences, multiple topics and whatnot. I'm tired. Tired enough to skip the 'afterparty' from Soulhouse Cafe tonight. I'm glad I went to Soulhouse Cafe though. I was exhausted when I got home from work - ready to cry I was so tired. But I read blogs for a bit, ate supper, and went anyway. Lesley spoke about community. The band rocked. Mmmm, I ate chocolate (dark chocolate covered maple nut cream!). Now I'm home again, and I think it's time for me to go to bed....

Presentation to Prenatal class

I did a presentation on doula support at a prenatal class this week. It went well. The tv there is so old, my DVD player was completely incompatible. I talked instead. (like that's a surprise to those of you know me in person!) I pulled out my Tingler, and figit, and other fun birth toys.

I connected immediately with one of the women there, and she (and her partner) have asked me to be their doula. I am going to be away in Montreal for 3 days near their due date, so will try and find a volunteer back-up. BUT, even if I can't find a back-up, they both said they would rather risk not having me there, then decide not to have me at all. Cool. :)

Another young woman is due in December, but wants to think about having a doula a bit more. "When's the latest I can let you know by?" she asked. I basically explained (as gently as I could) that the longer she waits, the greater the chance of me being unavailable. We'll see what happens. Having a birth that close to Christmas could be tricky for me in terms of my schedule. She did say that her doctor has suggested inducing her a week before her EDD, so as to avoid a Christmas birth. Convenience inductions... grrrr.... but if this young woman asks for my support, I will give it if I can. Without judgement. I trust that she's doing the best she can with what she's got.


And even though I still don't have a paying birth, each one I attend will bring me one step closer to certification. I hope the young woman due in December phones - - I'm itching to attend another birth and January seems SO FAR AWAY.....

Blood....

...It's in you to give. Or so the commercial goes. I gave blood tonight, and it was a record-setting event for me. I filled a bag in 7 minutes. Yes, 7 minutes! Yah, yah, some of you pump it out in like, 4 minutes, but I'm normally 12-15 minutes, with a blood pressure cuff on tight, and continual pumping of my hand, and re-adjusting the needle part way through. Eew. It's not really fun. And apparently the reason my arm always hurts so much for the next couple days is that the only vein they can find on me to use, is next to a major muscle (normally they don't use that spot).

All that to say, blood is in you to give. Yep, it's kinda uncomfortable. But if I was ever in need of blood, it's good to know that I'm doing my part.

Midwifery Today Online

I've been thinking the last couple days, now that I've connected with the midwives who practice at our local hospital (homebirths too), that a meeting or two with them before going to Africa might be a good thing.

Like I said in an earlier post - I don't PLAN on catching babies, but recognize that given our proximity to the village it very well could happen. There will be two other women with me on the mission who have had 6 kids total (4 & 2), all with midwives and at least two at home. So I know that in terms of 'normal' birth, we'd be okay. But what about some of the more 'common' complications like shoulder dystocia (when the head emerges, but the shoulder(s) get(s) stuck), or a nuchal cord (umbilical cord wrapped around babies neck).

I read the online version of Midwifery Today this afternoon, and there is a great article on maneuvers to help with shoulder dystocia. I will definately be printing it off to go in my Africa files. And I've read varying things about nuchal cords. (clamp & cut, leave it be, unwrap). If the midwives are willing to share some knowledge, I am willing to learn!

And I know, that is all TOTALLY outside a doula's scope of practice. However at that point I wouldn't be there as a doula. And while I hope not to need those skills, I think I must have been a boy scout in a former life because I always want to 'be prepared'. I do have a copy of the book "Where There Is No Doctor", which has some very straight-forward pictures and explanations for the birth of a baby. It also includes some information on how to deliver breech babies, massage the uterus in case of excessive bleeding etc. So I'll be bringing that with me too. Maybe a good midwifery textbook would be in order (one that isn't too heavy and big of course - I do have to carry all my lugagge through Accra airport.)

oh joy...

Know what I love? Fudge. My room-mate came home from the Royal Winter Fair last night and said "What do you like better - pralines & cream or mint chocolate chip?" "Definately pralines & cream" was my reply. "Ok" and she left the room to rummage through a bag.....then came back in and said "I brought you fudge" YEAH! Thank you Lesley! She said the look on my face was one of pure joy and I can believe it. Mmmm yummy. I made myself save some for today so that I could enjoy it with a good cup of coffee this afternoon. Which is what I am doing - right - now - . Oh joy....!

I remember as a kid (like 10+) my Mom showing up at school and pulling me out for the day so we could hang out together. Part way through the afternoon we would stop for fresh fudge and coffee. I thought the coffee was nasty, but the fudge was so good I endured it anyway. Now, as a um, grown-up, I love the coffee/fudge combo. Thank you Mom! Thank you Lesley!

First Ghana training on Saturday

The journey as a team begins on Saturday. We are having a training from 9:30am to 4:30pm at the Director's home (that would be D & H's place). Yesterday I got most of the information for the team members training binders assembled, and today is just pulling together loose ends. I like it when things are organized.

D and I were going to co-teach the first of the "Lifekeys" lessons, but realized that since we won't have time to both do the readings in advance and then discuss it, it will probably be smoother if just one of us teaches. I'm going to, since I already did Lifekeys when I did my 'non-profit org' training, and have at least skimmed the book.

He'll probably teach the MBTI and Spiritual Gifts sections of Lifekeys later on, since he is already familiar with those.

Then I'll likely do the life gifts, passions, and values, sections.

But other than the first lesson, that's all hypothetical still. Which is the beauty of planning to be in Africa - so much of everything has to be flexible and negotiable, that having things change unexpectedly here is just good practice. In North America, 10 minutes late is unacceptable. In Ghana, 2 hours late is par for the course and nothing to worry about.

We do still need another teenage girl to balance out the team. Right now N. is it, along with a handful of teenage boys. Nice if she wants to flirt, but the testosterone overload could get to be a bit much. While the first training is Saturday, the real crunch doesn't start till January so we'll continue to search for the right girl(s) over Christmas.

When nobody is looking, sometimes I smile just at the thought of being back in Africa again.....AND being able to work with women around issues of prenatal care and childbirth. I am excitedly doing research about birth practices there, the medical 'climate' if you will, etc. SO MUCH FUN!!

Links

Can you tell I just learned how to put links into my posts? It's like a "choose-your-own-adventure" storybook. Every click takes you to a different place! :)

P.S. I hated "choose-your-own-adventure" books as a kid. I wanted to know what the ending was, not what a possible ending was.

Cheating?

My room-mate tells me this is cheating.....

I was in the mood for writing tonight, but didn't want to use up all my blog thoughts at once, so they're saved as drafts and will go out one or two at a time over the next couple days (with the dates appropriately edited as I finish my thoughts of course).

Does this make me like a little kid who rations their own Halloween and Christmas candy?

If I Had A Million Dollars

My friend Laura used to tease me that if she was stranded on a desert island she wouldn't bring a radio, she'd bring me, because I'm also humming or singing something. Most of the time I don't realize I'm going this aloud, and the songs are quite varied.

I realized a moment ago that I was humming "If I Had A Million Dollars", so decided to share with you just what I would do if that was the case.

pay off debts (self & select others)
non-profit I work for - local and international
my church
World Vision

For L.Bo Marie

Dear L.Bo

This link is just for you.

Teenage Legacy

Woohoo! I got a new doula client today. She's not due until the Spring, but that's okay. Now I have clients due in February, April, and June.

As soon as I walked through the door this morning she said "Sarah. I know you from _____" Then she turned to the woman who was introducing us and said "I know Sarah. She can definately be my doula." I was very encouraged to know that the impression I left 8-10 or so years ago was positive enough to stick with her until today. It's a good thing I wasn't mean as a teenager!

Family Wellness Fair

Today I had a table at the Family Wellness Fair put on by the local Health Shoppe & Kids Magazine. I think there were about 24 exhibitors. What FUN! I had my birth ball out, and the Tingler, along with many of my other 'tools'.

3 of the women I spoke to extensively had experienced Cesarean births.... and none were happy about it.

One is due in December, had two Cesareans already, and up until we spoke today, had assumed that she had no choice but to be "strapped to the table alone again". "I can't have any support" she said "I can't have the birth I want". I gave her some book & website suggestions, and she's going to discuss the possibility of a VBAC, or at least a doula with her during the Cesarean, with her doctor. My heart went out to her..... and I HOPE things work out for her.

Another woman is hoping to get pregnant in the next couple months, and already knew a bit about doulas, but by the time we were done talking said "I'll call you when I'm pregnant - I want you there!" I had the opportunity to meet her husband and two kids as well. She has been doing a lot of VBAC research, and knows she wants to do what it takes to try this time.

Finally, there was the woman whose Cesareans were over 20 years ago.... and she still feels the loss. She told me all about her experiences with a doctor who didn't 'hear' her, and how helpless she felt. She was a vendor nearby to me, and sometimes when women would stop at her booth to look, she'd grab one of the comfort tools off my table and start showing the woman how a doula could help in birth. It was obvious that she did not want other women to experience the disempowerment and isolation she had.

I connected with a young woman expecting her ?second baby? on December 15th. She had a doula with her first baby in a different city, and thought she was out of time for finding one in this area. She seemed really excited about the prospect of having me support her and her husband.

OOOHH it's just so exciting. It feels like it's for real now.

I connected for the first time with our local Midwives group & Hypnobirthing instructor, and also a local shiatsu massage therapist, chiropractor, and massage therapist, all of whom specialize in pre-natal work. And every single one of them asked for my brochure so they could refer their clients to me...! YEAH!!

I might have to see if I can find a temporary back-up doula, as right now I have 3 potential clients due in December. All potential clients mind you, but still.....

Okay, I don't feel like typing anymore. Have a great weekend, whoever you are. :)